Love Potions
by CretianStar
Summary: Romilda Vane and her love potions. Not an incest threesome... Two-shot.
1. Love Potions

A/N: So I watched the spoof video of Harry Potter as a teen comedy and it inspired this nugget. It was going into The Collection but I wanted it as a one shot. It's a little longer than them. Well maybe it isn't, never mind!

Enjoy this odd pairing... is it a pairing, maybe?!

* * *

"What, exactly are you buying that for Miss Vane?" A voice startled her, causing the pink bottle to slip from her grasp and a hand shot out to catch it. "Or should I say, who exactly are you buying that for Miss Vane?"

She looked up with a start at a pair of laughing brown eyes.

"I, er I… what's it do with you Weasley?" She stammered, caught in his smile for a moment.

"Well someone has caught your eye Miss Vane, shall I guess who?" He hummed and glanced around the shop surveying the gaggle of students.

"Perhaps it is for Mr Longbottom, he will certainly flourish in the last years of school… or perhaps it is Mr Creevey, do you have a taste for the quiet ones?" He wondered aloud, by this point she had crossed her arms over her chest and was frowning at him. "Well it is not the quiet ones, perhaps it is those such as Dean Thomas or Seamus Finnigan, boisterous young men?" He was mocking her now and she knew it. "It's unlikely to be my brother." The twin had spotted his youngest brother with his two besties at the far end of the store.

"Can I have the potion now? Stopping customers from buying your merchandise is hardly profitable..." She questioned the Weasley twin with an arched eyebrow and was rewarded with a warm rich chuckle.

"Okay Vane, I will give it to you _for free_. If you can guess which twin I am." He smiled and her face dropped.

"How is that even possible?" She cried out and he shrugged. She frowned at him, staring minutely at his laughing face for a couple of minutes and sighed, defeated.

"Can I just go and buy the damn potion now please?" She held her hand out for the vial and the twin held it aloft.

"One guess Vane, you've got a fifty-fifty chance." He dangled the bottle. She knew she should just grab an identical bottle from the basin in front of them but something stopped her from doing this. She liked sparring with the Weasley, he was funny, if a trifle irritating.

"You promise you tell me if I get it right?" He nodded at her request, making a quick promise cross over his heart and her brow furrowed once again. Suddenly she smiled. "You're Gred." She smirked and was pleasantly surprised to hear the laugh pulled from the man before her again.

"I am Forge I am afraid. Looks like you're paying for this one." He winked and bowed to her once before vanishing off to the depths of the shop.

She huffed out a breath and shrugged. She should have known she could never beat the Weasley twins at their own game – the pair of them were known as the Kings of Wit and she could barely keep up to the patter between the two of them. Almost going to put the bottle down she glanced over to where the two now stood together, their loud voices calling out different products for students to buy and one glanced back to her and winked again.

Sod it she was getting the potion.

Maybe she'd be able to get Granger off Potter's back and enjoy her year at Hogwarts as the Chosen One's girlfriend… it'd be worth the glory for the brief time.


	2. Delivery Service

A/N: Heh, honestly I didn't expect this to be a two shot BUT it is and I wanted to clear up which twin it was...

Happy New Year!

* * *

 _Order to be placed:_

 _1x Cupid's Kiss Love Potion_

 _1x Purple Pygmy Puff_

 _1x Forge_

Romilda almost crossed out the last part of her Wheezes order form but left it on there, quill hovering over the last line until she decisively signed her name and dated the form, included the necessary payment in the envelope before letting the Hogwarts owl fly off.

She cursed her own stupidity straight away. She didn't even know which twin she was dreaming about on a nightly basis.

\F.W/\G.W/

"George..." Fred's voice carried up the stairs and the footsteps soon followed as he went to collect the post from the owl stop at the back door.

"Yes brother dear?" George poked his head around the door and raised an eyebrow.

"What did you do to Romilda Vane?" Fred queried as he dumped the morning's orders on the table and began stacking them into the muggle sorting machine that Hermione had suggested would make their lives a bit easier – which it had. One opened order form was now parted from its comrades and was pushed before George's nose.

In truth, he did remember teasing Romilda Vane. She was a startling young woman with a fierceness in her temper, a confidence that George was undeniably attracted to. Her dark mane of hair made his fingers itch, he had longed to run his fingers through it but that would have been a bit creepy.

"Earth to brother dearest." Fred waved an impatient hand in front George's mooning face and smirked. "Does someone have a thing for Romilda Vane?" He cooed and batted his eyelashes, earning a dead arm from his embarrassed brother.

"Shuddup." George stood, snatching the order form from the table and staring at it hard. "Do we have any purple pygmy puffs?" He asked, trying to distract his twin.

"Yes, and we have Cupid's Kiss though I doubt she'll need to use it as we also have the last item on the list..." Fred waggled his eyebrows suggestively and George glared at him.

"I don't know what you mean." He bit out before adding the order to the machine.

"Eh, she wants special delivery, so off you pop. I've owled her to say we'll deliver to the Owlery at 5pm tonight. Best get ready." Fred winked and ran from the room as George stared at him horrified. Then he panicked.

\R.V/

She'd received the response back on Weasley embossed paper and her stomach had done a little flip at the breakfast table. She spent the entire day in a mess of nerves and apprehension – none of her friends could understand why she was a distracted mess.

She made her excuses after class and vanished to the dorm and hastily applied her make up, not too much. She dithered over her uniform but she opted to stay in it instead of plumping for something racier. This was just a Weasley delivery. What did she have to worry about..., it wasn't a big deal! Plus she'd never be able to explain to her friends why she was wearing her sequinned black dress and black heels to the owlery.

So she made it to the Owlery for 5 to 5 and waited.

Sure enough a small figure came whizzing on a broom, a package secured to his broom and Romilda felt her mouth go dry in apprehension. He landed a few feet away and carried his broom towards her which then hovered next to him.

"Fred tells me you put in a special delivery order." The twin, now helpfully identified as George handed over a small vial wrapped in brown paper. "One Cupid's Kiss." He unhooked the box, airholes around the top and gingerly placed it in her hands. "One purple pygmy puff, but this one has an attitude, hasn't stopped complaining the entire journey." He shrugged and went to mount his broom once more.

"There's one more thing I ordered." She blurted suddenly and he smirked.

"Oh, that I forgot." He walked back over to her and kissed her suddenly on the lips. She squeaked at the feel of his lips. He stepped back and grinned. "I like to make sure there's customer satisfaction and all orders are fulfilled." His smirk made her laugh and she nodded slightly.

"Well we'll work on customer satisfaction but this order is fulfilled anyway." She grinned back at him and saw the laughter in his eyes. "Safe flight Forge." She winked and turned back to the castle, hearing him take off but not looking back. She could feel the smug smile lifting the corners of her mouth and as she made her way down to dinner, pygmy puff on her shoulder she couldn't bring herself to hide it.


End file.
